Wilderness End

by Bearpark

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about

"...a record that represents a journey of the heart and the mind ... should you ever need a reminder of the power of music to move and inspire, you’ll find it in 'Wilderness End'."
- BESTNEWBANDS.COM

"...a strong songwriter, and his willingness to experiment with the arrangements means that this is not just another singer-songwriter album"
- GODISINTHETV

"There are beautiful moments on Wilderness End, demonstrated by standout track “Battle Hymn for the Republic”. A sprawling, atmospheric charge but in slow pace, I can only imagine it’s absolutely epic when performed live, and it hints at a man quite capable of writing something none of us can even conceive."
- DRUNKENWEREWOLF

"...a mixture of acoustic and electric folk, rock and brass with pedal organ, sound samples and electronica. The result is something decidedly different and distinct..."
- FOLKWORDS

credits

released October 30, 2015

Written by Nicholas Hirst

Produced by Dave Moore and Nicholas Hirst
Additional recording by Ion Metsovikis and Nicholas Owens
Additional engineering by Cam Blackwood

Recorded at:

Voltaire Road Studios, Clapham
Urchin Studios, London Fields
Palm Recordings, Hornsey
and a flat in Brixton

Mixed by Dave Moore

Mastered by Jeff Mortimer at JM Mastering

Nicholas Hirst: vocals, electric, bass and acoustic guitars, piano, harmonium, synthesizers, celesta, percussion, programming
Marc Rollins: drums
Paul Whalley: tuba
Karen Straw: trumpet
Thomas Allard: horn
Tom Harle: trombone
Stephen Ellis: celesta
Ellie Wilson: violin
Kat Flint: vocals

tags

license

all rights reserved

about

Bearpark London, UK

Bearpark is the solo moniker of Nicholas Hirst, a London-based multi-instrumentalist and singer-songwriter. He has spent most of the last few years playing with London band Revere and Scottish-born singer-songwriter Kat Flint (to whom he is also married). He was born in Essex and grew up between Colchester and Detroit, and now lives in Brixton, London. ... more

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Track Name: Boxers
So there I am, a grin, a posture, and a lie,
When something sparkles in the corner of my eye,
And then it all goes quiet, someone hits the lights,
And honey, there you are.
Did you not see me, does this happen all the time?
Do I take a numbered ticket and stand in line?
God, you must collect these songs like a flower collects the light.
Well, here’s one more.

I can’t describe what it is
Sets you apart;
Spins me and drops me like a boxer,
Reeling at the knocks, yeah,
Unconscious of the loss

Until the next day, waking up, the world’s a different place.
My sense of colour’s back, my courage, and my grace,
And a sense that a day that’s spent without you is a waste,
A waste and a shame.
I never saw you coming, no I never felt a thing.
This is the last place that I ever thought I’d find you in.
It wasn’t my idea, it’s you - you never should have been so beautiful.

And was it something ... some kind of gremlin on the line?
Was it the way you caught the light?
Your natural aptitude for flight?
‘Cause I am failing.
I have failed to shake you off.
To reassert the even keel
That I had before you made me feel

There’s something that I can’t describe
Sets you apart;
Spins round and drops out like a missile,
Volatile and fissile,
Encased in all this metal,

There is something that I can’t describe
Sets you apart;
Spins me and drops me like a boxer,
Reeling at the knocks, yeah,
Unconscious of the loss, yeah,
Reaching for the ropes,
Grasping at the hope they give.
Track Name: All Fall By
Dreams are funny things.
At night when you are sleeping,
All the world inside your head
Is wide awake and lets you watch it play.
But you don’t -
You just dismiss these visions;
But just suppose these are not visions
But glimpses of the flesh and bone
That make you wake at dawn?

And you wonder why you hunger
For something indistinct and way above your reach
And you listen for a mission -
It’s the breathing in and breathing out that fill your sails and blow you home.

So sleep the quiet sleep;
Walk around ignoring all the signs
But don’t expect to get there,
Just don’t expect to ever get there.
Cause you won’t -
Not if you insist on measuring everything
Against your limited capacity
For seeing in the dark

Cause why would you?
And how could you?
We’re not designed to reach the end before we start.
Lift your head up,
Take a good look,
You might not get another chance to see this place.

Let it all fall by -
The fast and the cynical,
When it touches something so pure.

Oh, it makes me angry.
I get so angry,
Cause you destroy things that you haven’t even seen
And you could think,
Oh, you just won’t think
There’s no-one holding hands over your eyes but you.

Let it all fall by,
Just the slow and the beautiful sound
Of the world spinning on
Beneath us, so far beneath us,
And we climb forever,
Describing a parallel to the world
And looking down,
And smiling above it all,
And the way it looks from way up here
Is the way it’ll look when we’ve disappeared.
We could fly all night with these dreams in the sky,
So fly.
Track Name: What Are We Going To Do?
Finally,
I hear your car on the drive.
Quarter to three, the kids are asleep,
And I would have cried ten years ago,
Thinking of you wasting it all,
For chasing it all.

Emily, what are we going to do, me and you?
Emily, what do we do about this?

I won’t go on living parallel lives,
And I don’t think we’re touching enough to survive.

La, la, la, la,
La, la, la, la, la, la,
La, la, la, la...

Why does it seem -
As I hear you collide with the door -
Here’s a repeat of every weekend this year.
I would shout,
But the drunk assymetrical shit
That comes out of your mouth is too loud, and I…

Emily, what are we going to do, me and you?
Emily, what do we do about this?

I won’t go on living parallel lives,
And I don’t think we’re touching enough to survive.
And I don’t believe that this is what they mean by love.
And I won’t go on living parallel lives.

We need to talk,
But you are at work,
And I am at work,
And there is just work,
Expanding like gas,
And taking it all.

I won’t go on living parallel lives,
And I don’t think we’re touching enough to survive.
And I don’t believe that this is what they mean by love.
And I won’t go on living parallel lives.
Track Name: Not So Tired
Only between friends
Do these silences make sense,
Or can a silence feel like reassurance
Only a past tense
And unseen evidence
Qualify us both as witnesses

You were a flashing light
A steady beating line
A system of measurement for keeping me in line
And now I’m a listener -
And man, it’s my honour -
You owe me nothing,
And nothing more

Oh, and when your voice starts breaking and straining
I know the songs,
Yeah, and I can sing
Oh and sing I will
until you’re beating

We have the whole night,
Incalculable time,
For you to lose your footing
Once or twice

And I’m not so tired
That I can’t give my time -
Time is not a cost I care to ask of life

Do you need reassurance?
Or comfort in silence?
Or does forgiveness need me as a audience?
I am not tired,
Not even for friendly fire
You’re working it out, man
Yeah, but you need time

And when your voice starts breaking and straining
I know the songs,
Oh yeah, and I can sing
And sing I will until you’re beating

We have the whole night,
Incalculable time,
For you to lose your footing
Once or twice

And I’m not so tired
That I can’t give my time
Time is not a cost I care to ask of life
Of life

And man, it’s not too late
To make mistakes
To change your mind
To start again
I can freeze time
Yeah I’d do that
The power’s mine
Track Name: Sleeper Train
Last night,
Your beehive came alive,
Kept you up all night,
When I was sleeping tight,
Oh, I had no idea
The noisy swarm so near,
And as I slept, you woke, my love.

So fall asleep
In your window seat,
And I’ll try not to breathe
So you can sleep on me,
And you can dream in peace
In drowsy flower-fields,
And as I wake, you’ll sleep, my love.

‘Cause you and I, we made promises,
They are like necklaces, like magic currencies.
‘Cause you and I, we made promises,
And they’ll buy us all the sleep we need.

One day,
When all your bees are quiet,
Maybe mine will wake, and form an angry riot,
Oh, I will need you then,
Your sympathetic eyes,
They will brave the stings and me, my love,

And it won’t hurt,
‘Cause this is how it works,
And this is what we’re for,
And I will always be
A shoulder while you sleep,
A smoker for your bees,
A man who understands, or tries, my love,

And you and I, we made promises,
They are like necklaces, like magic currencies.
‘Cause you and I, we made promises,
And they’ll buy us all the sleep we need.

‘Cause you and I, we made promises,
They are like necklaces, like magic currencies.
‘Cause you and I, we made promises,
And they’ll buy us all the sleep we need.
Track Name: Crows
He still remembered, right as he died,
Before he shook and buzzed and burned inside.
He still remembered what caught his heart.
It was not her beauty, though her beauty stopped cars.

It was her shadow, old like his own.
It walked behind her like a churchyard crow.
They’d barely spoken, just seen and known,
And in spring they married where the grass had grown.

He felt a lightness he had not known,
And they had a baby and they watched it grow,
And her shadow left her - he lost his own -
And they lit lights and they watched it snow.

She started waking, her face a cast.
She said she heard their claws against the glass.
He saw her shadow, and he felt his own,
Deep and old and vast and full of CROWS.

In February, they called his name.
He knew it even as he left his lathe.
She’d been calling all morning,
But they’d put her off.
And he heard her voice and he knew that his love was lost.

And he hit the driveway, flew through the door,
She held their daughter like a pieta.
And he saw her shadow, he saw his own.
And he turned away and he smelled that smell of crows.

Then he faced her, picked up the glass.
And he cut and he cut until her shadow passed.
And he sat there with her until they came,
And he walked behind her like a votive flame.
Track Name: Tell Me How You Feel
You seem a little unsteady,
A little bit hollow of heart.
Like someone has hooded and spun you
And you don’t recognise where you are.
And this has been one of those weeks
Where the little things pull you apart.
I feel you steel yourself next to me
Before spinning out into the dark.

So what do you say we find shelter,
And we go find a sandbag or two?
I pick up a bottle of wine,
And I go light a candle for you?

Come on, come on,
Tell me how you feel.

Oh, god, you look like treasure,
And you sound like a column of air.
You know, girl, you whipped right through me
And you tangled my flag in your hair.
It doesn’t appear to have slowed you
Like today span you out of control.
One call and a taxi is waiting,
So what do you say we just go?

Come on, come on,
Tell me how you feel.
Track Name: Turn Around, Take A Bow
Oh, it’s odd, when I picture you at our school,
Shying your way through a hostile playground,
Who would have pictured you in that dress,
Famous and fearless?

In the years you’ve been away from our town,
We’ve gathered these families; yeah, we’ve put our heads down,
And the dust that settles all over these towns
Has dusted us too, top to ground.

And the colour flew from us to you…

Turn around, take a bow,
Staged and steady - oh, where are those idiots now?
And turn your back on the crowd
Listen out, honey, who’d dare laugh at you now?

Our cigarette break conversational guest,
Covered in lights, all eyes and weightlessness.
We changed so slowly you’d never have guessed
Heavy and lidless.

And the air it flew from us to you...

Turn around, take a bow,
Staged and steady - oh, where are those idiots now?
And turn your back on the crowd
Listen out, honey, who?d dare laugh at you now?

And I’m tongue-tied and deep-fried in front of you
And I have no idea how to talk to you
You should never return
To lit fireworks
If you don’t want to get burned.

Turn around take a bow,
Staged and steady, oh, where are those idiots now?
Turn your back on the crowd
Listen out, honey, who'd dare laugh at you now?

Turn your back on the crowd,
Staged and steady, oh, where are those idiots now?
Turn your back on the crowd
Listen out, honey, who?d dare laugh at you now?
Track Name: Home And Away
So it’s Friday night, hits 5.25,
You go looking for low level lights.
You have a listen round, there’s talk of going out,
And it’s us and the usual crowd.

And there’s two pairs of eyes on the glitter outside,
Shiny and surface and signs,
And there’s drinks that are drawn from an ocean of shouts,
One for the chill air, and one for the doubt.

Oh, come out,
Out with me, honey, come
Out with me tonight.
Out with me, honey, come
Out with me tonight.

There’s a sound to you, a kind of quiet truth,
As I cradle you taxi ride through.
And there’s a shape to you in your pretty dress,
Tired and quiet, smaller than usual.

One pair of eyes on the glitter beside,
Sleeping and waking and wide eyed,
And it’s silences drawn from an ocean of shouts,
Packed in the chill air with doubt.

Oh, come home,
Home with me, honey, come
Home with me tonight.
Home with me, honey, come
Home with me tonight.
Track Name: Little Black Holes
And I wonder where I would be sitting today if I’d listened to half the things that you said about living, and what it all means, instead of turning my head and my back on the dreams that I had when I lay next to you, and I saw the future shine through in your skin and your arms and your hair … but now none of it’s there

And I leave it to memory, yeah,
Oh, ‘cause it’s better at this than me.

A snap and I wake and I look to my left and I thank god for the morning that brings you back to me again, and I've got to stop having these dreams, ‘cause they're tearing little black you-shaped holes in me.

And stay, stay, stay - I'll give you anything, I’ll promise you anything if you just rub my back one more time and take me back to the world, back to the future that I have chosen now,

And I leave it to memory, yeah,
Oh, cause it's better at this than me...
Track Name: Battle Hymn For The Republic
Night down and one year older
Ceasefire for all the soldiers
Smoke-stung and lazy-eyed,
They face civilian life

We’ve pulled the pin on this war
We’ve fought the fight we came here for
In pairs at every door,
We will uphold the law

Run cables through the debris, best
To keep us linked in loneliness
We’ll run transmitter tests
We’ll beat this wilderness

The distant thrum of humvees
An angry sound like killer bees
The smell of antifreeze
And you, caught up in me

I held you like a token,
The lines of contact broken
Dogtags and firearms
The trenches in your palms

I held your eyes for too long
Crack-crackle burned the ozone
I’ve lightning in my mouth
And my radio is out
No word, no flares, no shouts
Tonight we’re pulling out.
Track Name: Sweet Angel
Sweet angel, you must be cold,
Let me warm you, sweet angel.
Sweet angel, fragile like diamond,
Like my Lalique lioness.

Oh angel, sweet angel,
Why are you here down in the dust?
Oh, I couldn’t say who I fear for more -
You, or the ones you don’t know not to trust.

Sweet angel, please you forgive this mess,
Sweet angel.
‘Cause I was not expecting a visitor
Least of all you, you, burned and blinding,
You.

Oh angel, sweet angel,
Just name it, I’ll find it for you.
And angel, sweet angel,
You need an Orion to watch while you fire the sky.
Track Name: Untitled
Please forgive me - your involvement is unfair,
And you’ll go with me as I explode in mid-air.
‘Cause I could take it on the chin,
Or I could go out drinking,
And I’m not sure I trust myself with you.

Get your speed up, reach escape velocity,
Landing gear up, try not to think of gravity.
I don’t know what you are to me,
But I can see you when I sleep,
Spinning underneath my wheels.
Track Name: Distant Fields
The city's made of numbers, digital and bright.
Racks lovers on a rigid grid and it violates the night.

London thinks it owns us, we show up on its books
It locks us there in bright despair with its little golden hooks.

And we are glittering and torn,
And our blood is analogue and warm.
And we are facing outwards.
You're the fields,
The distant dream
That keeps me breathing.

We'll drive out of the city before it knows we're gone.
The suburb’s eyes are occupied and it's easy to outrun.

But this time it's forever, and I can't help but smile.
We'll walk with dogs in rain and wind and your hand will be warm in mine.

We are glittering and torn,
And our blood is analogue and warm.
We are facing forwards.

We'll live and breathe in distant fields.

And we will face each other.